all clear, your scans are all clear.
no small talk, no how do you do, just “all clear”.
yesterday was a perfect day. yesterday i spent most of my day at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute for my three month check up.
compassion and tenderness run rampant thru all that is the Dana-Farber. every facet of my visit was expedited in a proficient and caring manner helping ease whatever discomfort i was experiencing. my mind has a tendency to run with it, get all wound up, take the what if’s too far, though not yesterday, at least for most of the day. after my tests, while snacking in the cafeteria i was shamelessly secretly patting myself on the back for being so cool and nonchalant.
sure, those are not words that most close to me would use to describe me and even more sure, i knew i was fooling myself. yet it did help pass the time until i met with my doctor.
fortunately, at Dana-Farber, if at all possible, test results are given the same day as the test are administered, giving me the very limited time to obsess (and, sure that is a word people close to me would use). just as the pat on the back became a nervous twitch, my doctor, Dr. Wagner, walks in and says right up front, YOUR SCANS ARE ALL CLEAR.
from then on, nothing matters, i just float hovering above my chair. all is good, all is great.
that moment is why i can ride in the Pan Mass Challenge and all the other moments are preciously why i must ride. every moment at Dana-Farber is dedicated to the eradication of cancer, AIDS, and related diseases and the fear that they engender.